Police Woman

 When I was a little girl my family used to call me "Police Woman." Stop laughing right now! I can hear all of you (lol). They called me that because I was always bringing attention and correction to the “bad” things that were going on around the house. If my brothers, nephews, or nieces were doing something they weren’t suppose to be doing I was going to make sure my momma knew it and they did too. This “policing” that I would do would often times cause conflict with my family: sometimes leading to small acts of violence (lol). As a young girl I didn’t’ get it. I couldn’t understand why my family members would get so upset. They knew what they were doing was wrong, right? I was simply trying to be a help and point it out for them…..just in case they were not aware (lol). Just call me The Defender of Justice, if you will: Always trying to keep everyone on the straight and narrow. Oh, how I needed to be adjusted and trained (thank you Holy Spirit).

My “policing” probably would not have been seen as unusual if I was the oldest, or even second oldest: Most parents expect the elder children to take some leadership type responsibility in the family at some point. Well, at least I do. In hindsight I think the real issue for most of my family, and rightly so, wasn’t in the fact that I was shining a light on their issues, but rather in the fact that I, the younger sister, was pointing out their problems. You see, I am number twelve of thirteen siblings: Ten boys and three girls. (Yes, My Mom is a phenomenal woman ~ Love you Mom!)

Praise be to God for His GRACE and MERCY! I have since learned that although my heart was noble, my means were ALL wrong. Since that time I have also come to realize that this defender-of-justice attitude in me, although a nuisance to the family, was a part of the gifting that the Father has placed in me (lol). Of course, it needed to be submitted and governed by the Holy Spirit (and continues to be). I will be honest with you. There were times in my years of growing into a place of maturity (which I’m still working to attain) that I felt like this “gift” was a curse. I no longer wanted to be the defender-of-justice. In time I became weary of its qualities and sometimes consequences. I didn’t want to see what I saw and know what I knew. I just wanted to blend in with the crowd. You know, “Que Sera, Sera!”

Like King David I cried out to the Lord in my distress saying, “Why, O Lord, do I have to see the stuff I see? Why can’t I just be oblivious to all that’s going on around me and just enjoy being alive? Why do I even care what my neighbor is doing?” The Holy Spirit quickly convicted my spirit on that kind of thinking: reminding me not to take on the attitude of Cain, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9). Cain had the wrong mindset which led to the wrong attitude which led to the wrong actions (I will definitely be revisiting that lesson in another blog).

Often times I have tried to close my spiritual eyes and pretend like I can’t see anything (now you know that doesn’t work, right?). I would be in places or services where, to the natural eye, everyone and everything seems to be okay. Yet, for me, my spirit was so vexed from the spiritual warfare that was going on in the atmosphere that I just wanted to find a closet so that I can war in prayer: Sounds a little crazy to me too (smile), but this is who God has called me to be…..The Real Me.

Sometimes I don’t get this being He has created called, me. In all of my revelation and discovery there are still times when I am looking at myself, as in a mirror, and say, “Who are you?” These times of self evaluation seems to center around these times of intense spiritual attacks and warfare. And although I’m not unfamiliar with spiritual warfare, it is still that…warfare. Spiritual warfare has way of making you feel inadequate. The constant battles in the spirit, and sometimes even in the natural, can be very stressful: creating a yoke upon you that is not from God.

Side note: The Lord says in His word that, “His yoke is easy and His burdens are light”(Matthew 11:30). Notice that He did not say that there would be no yoke. He said the HIS yoke is easy, but there is a yoke (and that's not all bad when it's from Him). I want to encourage you to seek Him in times of heaviness. When I feel a situation weighing on me (as a yoke) the first thing that I do is ask the Lord, “Is this yoke from You?” If it’s of Him then I know that He has already made the provision of Grace for me to carry it and that it is not meant to destroy me but rather to build me. If it’s not, then I know to pray for that yoke to be removed.

Warfare has definitely increased in this season and has of late pushed me to a place, once again, of examining my heart. There has been a surge of acceleration in my life. Good things. Many opportunities for ministry are being laid at my feet and the Lord is opening doors in ways that I know could only be Him (to Him be the glory). However, along with this surge and acceleration toward the things of God there has also been a surge and acceleration in spiritual attacks and warfare. It seems that I have to contend with issues and situations on a regular basis.

When things are such as they are now I find myself on my face a WHOLE lot: crying out to the Lord. I go into my prayer closet because I want Him to examine MY heart. I want Him to make adjustments in MY spirit. I want Him to bring clarity and give direction, a proper course of action, to the situations at hand. And many times I boldly rush in to His presence, wanting Him to bring comfort and strength to, what is often times, my weary spirit.

It is in these times of warfare and evaluation that the Father reminds me of my frame, my makeup. He reminds me of who has called me to be and what He has called me to do. It’s in these times that He brings clarity and direction for the next step He desires me to take And He shows me just how much He loves me through the comfort of His word, both written and spoken.

I am thankful to the Lord for this time of acceleration, growth and warfare. He said to me today, "But my horn you have exalted like a wild ox: I have been anointed me with FRESH OIL" (Psalms 92:10). And He also reminded of what I have been called to do in this season and the scripture He had give me:”Thou art my battle axe and weapons of war: for with thee will I break in pieces the nations, and with thee will I destroy kingdoms” (Jeremiah 51:20).

Yesteryear I was a little girl that my family called “Police Woman.” Today I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and the Father calls me His “Battle Axe.” Hallelujah!

I pray that in the midst of your adversity that you find rest and peace in Him and who He has called YOU to be. Rest in knowing that He is Omniscience (all knowing), Omnipresent (everywhere present), and Omnipotent (all POWERFUL). Is there anything too hard for HIM?! SELAH.

My Love Song to HIM! Dorothy C.